A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

     Anyone with a television set has become aware of the fact that television icon and business mogul Oprah Winfrey has recently discovered –and announced- that she has a long lost sister of which she had been sheltered.  As a very influential person, it has been reported that she regularly has contact from estranged family members, sometimes real and sometimes hopeful, that profess their family lineage.  Many want to be associated with her because they think she is probably a swell gal, but many also are just in search of vicarious fame and fortune. While DNA testing, forensics study and modern technology will identify the biological relationship of this new found kin, Oprah is fortunate that she was able to go directly to the source, Mama Winfrey to begin the investigation of this claim.  Ophra’s mother confirmed that she has held this secret for more than forty years.  While there is happiness and sadness in this story, one thing that shined for me was the good fortune for Oprah that she was able to speak directly with her mother about this issue.

     Having worked in social services for more than twenty years, I have met incredibly supportive and attentive family members.  I too have also met my fair share of persons with disabilities living in residential support homes that have minimal at best contact with their biological family members.  This happens for a multitude of reasons and I make no judgment.  I do however feel for the person that because of this distancing has limited knowledge of where they came from, who they are related to, what their family customs are, or even to what medical conditions they may be predisposition.  Who are their long lost brother and sisters?  Who can confirm this information for them?  Whose mannerisms do they mimic?

     Someone recently was cleaning the basement of the office at CSO office.  A youthful picture of a now middle-aged man named Steve was found.  Steve has lived in residential group homes since he was a child.  To my knowledge, Steve has never had a biological family member come forward for unification.  When he was a child the staff of his group home was his family.  Today he is now with a wonderful foster care family.  As the Director of the program that coordinated his foster care arrangement, this newly found picture was given to me.  I said oh isn’t that nice and without much thought tacked it on the bulletin board in my office.  The picture has sat there for a while.  Recently a new case manger was assigned to Steve.  As more as general conversation than discovery  I said to that person have you ever see the picture of Steve on my board that I have from when he was about fourteen years old?  The case manager enlightened me to the fact that Steve would probably love to have that picture.  It seems that Steve had shared with her that over the years he has lost any pictures that represent his youth.  The poor guy has no photo recording, limited memory, nor any family members to share stories of his legacy.  He has no Mama Winfrey to confirm or deny family secrets.  Other than a small handful of staff still around that have known or worked with Steve for years, he has no one to say when you were a young boy you used to like to …..  Knowing that his picture would be more monumental to him than it was to me, I quickly handed over my picture to be given to Steve.

Since that date of seeing how happy that photo has made Steve,  I have pledged to get the word out to those who have know Steve for years to search their archives for pictures and to share stories with Steve of childhood memories.  A couple of the long time staff are looking into their private photo collections.  I have also found a family member that has been taking photo’s at Arc events for the last eighteen years who is searching her photo albums for pictures of Steve and others.  I hope that we can recapture some of this history for him.  Maybe at the same time we can take a few moments to reflect how much people have changed- or stayed the same over the years.  I am sure that over the past nineteen years my photo is in one or two of those private collections out there as well.

About the Author: Dawn Babineau

Dawn Babineau has over twenty years experience working with non profit social service agencies. Her current role is as the Director for Home Based Supports, a shared living and Adult Foster care program.